So for you my lovely ladies I sat through the entire premiere of A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila and it was more interesting than I expected. Here is a minute by minute recap.
10:00 - Opening montage, Tila Music video and introduction bisexual hot girl who can't find love.
10:02 – Testosterone Arrives. First dumb quote. "I've never been with an asian girl before but I love Chinese Food."
10:03 – Reveal fabulous 4 story hot pink mansion and symbolic keys to Tila's heart
10:04 – The drinking starts (what’s reality TV without a open bar?)
10:05 – The Men begin begging, playing and gift giving. First up a virgin aspiring singer suitor with great lyrics, “I gotta find a way, I gotta find a way, I gotta find a way, to get to you, I gotta find a way” classic!
10:06 – First Kiss
10:07 – Second kiss – Random Italian Euro trash guy who says he can have sex with any women he cooks for…sure
10:08 – First Homophobic joke
10:09 – Tila beat boxes with lame aspiring rapper suitor
10:10 – First testosterone bitch fight
10:11 - commercial
10:12 - fight continues – Tila is unimpressed but I bet she keeps them around
10:14 - Male suitor gives Tila Diamond earrings. Her response “This bitch can’t be bought…oh wait maybe she can!”…snap
10:16 - commercial break – Why does she keep saying I am a bisexual? Like it's a strange kind of fruit. Whatever, she's hot.
10:20 - Tila decides which 5 boys to send home. Oh think, think, think
10:21 - Tila appears out of a slow rotating bar with a sexy soundtrack.
10:22 - Goodbye - Benny from Boston who gave her a tea bag as a gift (lame) Robbie who gave a Tila a frog figurine (guess he is the prince) Michael the drummer with the hot pink jacket (enough said) Lance the guy from clown college (clowns are cool but not sexy) Greg who gave Tila body oil and tried to get to second base (first episode dude slow down)
10:23 - Toast to love and Tila sends the boys home for the night
10:24 - Commercial Break
10:27 - 15 Lesbians Arrive..oh I spotted some real lesbians and a couple butches!
10:12 - fight continues – Tila is unimpressed but I bet she keeps them around
10:14 - Male suitor gives Tila Diamond earrings. Her response “This bitch can’t be bought…oh wait maybe she can!”…snap
10:16 - commercial break – Why does she keep saying I am a bisexual? Like it's a strange kind of fruit. Whatever, she's hot.
10:20 - Tila decides which 5 boys to send home. Oh think, think, think
10:21 - Tila appears out of a slow rotating bar with a sexy soundtrack.
10:22 - Goodbye - Benny from Boston who gave her a tea bag as a gift (lame) Robbie who gave a Tila a frog figurine (guess he is the prince) Michael the drummer with the hot pink jacket (enough said) Lance the guy from clown college (clowns are cool but not sexy) Greg who gave Tila body oil and tried to get to second base (first episode dude slow down)
10:23 - Toast to love and Tila sends the boys home for the night
10:24 - Commercial Break
10:27 - 15 Lesbians Arrive..oh I spotted some real lesbians and a couple butches!
10:28 - Tila joins the girls wearing a so hot gold dress and the girls just love her, screaming all over for Tila's hotness!
10:29 - Drinking starts first person to say “Let’s take a shot of tequila!”
10:30 - Tila discovers she has matching panties with Amanda. Then America is introduced to the definition of Gold star lesbian and Silver star lesbian
10:31 - Second virgin
10:32 - Tila says girls make her tingle. I just like the way she says tingle.
10:33 - Tila kisses a girl and dishes a butch. Whatever, I love you butches.
10:35 - Sitting next to Tila and you talking about your ex, bad idea girl friend! Girls overly emotional…WHAT? I’ve never seen that?
10:36 - More kisses. Tila loves the ladies!
10:37 - Commercial and announcement of costume contest! YES!
10:40 - Costume contest – in order - catholic school girl, nurse, topless angel, cat, maid, army, construction (ohh sloppy), girl scout, dominatrix (Tila grabbed her whip and ouch that’s gotta hurt.) hot butch in a lame robe? (Amada says butches are creepy, HATER!) , plumber, taxi, butch firefighter, orange…what? Card bikini, American flag,
10:44 – think, think, think!
10:45 - Tila appears out of a in a rotating bar, please keep a butch..please
10:46 - bye Scout (orange) , Ellie ( plumber) Chaos (army), Brenda (taxi), Keasha (caution). Butches Stay…YES!
10:47 - commercial
10:51 - Pool party and bisexual surprise reveal – Boys arrive
10:29 - Drinking starts first person to say “Let’s take a shot of tequila!”
10:30 - Tila discovers she has matching panties with Amanda. Then America is introduced to the definition of Gold star lesbian and Silver star lesbian
10:31 - Second virgin
10:32 - Tila says girls make her tingle. I just like the way she says tingle.
10:33 - Tila kisses a girl and dishes a butch. Whatever, I love you butches.
10:35 - Sitting next to Tila and you talking about your ex, bad idea girl friend! Girls overly emotional…WHAT? I’ve never seen that?
10:36 - More kisses. Tila loves the ladies!
10:37 - Commercial and announcement of costume contest! YES!
10:40 - Costume contest – in order - catholic school girl, nurse, topless angel, cat, maid, army, construction (ohh sloppy), girl scout, dominatrix (Tila grabbed her whip and ouch that’s gotta hurt.) hot butch in a lame robe? (Amada says butches are creepy, HATER!) , plumber, taxi, butch firefighter, orange…what? Card bikini, American flag,
10:44 – think, think, think!
10:45 - Tila appears out of a in a rotating bar, please keep a butch..please
10:46 - bye Scout (orange) , Ellie ( plumber) Chaos (army), Brenda (taxi), Keasha (caution). Butches Stay…YES!
10:47 - commercial
10:51 - Pool party and bisexual surprise reveal – Boys arrive
10:52 - Girls arrive – Bikini's rocks!
10:53 - Boys meet Lesbian
10:54 - Amanda says - "What is penis doing here?"
10:55 - Tila "I am A bisexual!"
10:57 - Titillating montage of future episodes, one huge bed, mud wrestling, pole dancing, crying, I love you, I love you, fighting, screaming, cat fight, ambulance, more crying!
10:58 - Tila’s final words “It’s not about being with a guy or a girl, it’s about what’s best for me”
10:59 - Final shot of Tila running yelling “Wait, Wait, Wait!!”
Ok I have to admit it I'm hooked. Tila is hot, and the potential for dyke drama is immense. I guess I will have to watch again next week. Who am I kidding I will be watching every week. I will make sure to keep up the recaps. If you want to watch the full episode online go here
1 comment:
Wow, you're so detailed!
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